Ah, baffling football final ceremonies. Doncha love 'em? The organisers in Vienna tonight (no, don't get carried away, I'm only watching on TV, too) came up with a corker. Dodgy drama, dodgy art, dodgy acting and Enrique "son of Julio" Iglesias all rolled into one bulging globule of on-pitch entertainment. Awesome! When I say "dodgy", I don't mean monumental Eurovision-scale awful (it's not that hideously compelling)... just something so whimsically conceived-by-committee that it would need a lengthy commentary to make sense of it... involving, as it does, waddling puppets, floating balloons and marionette referees. "Football is focus of closing ceremony" it says here, in breathless tones. Classic. Motty, doing his last major tournament as a commentator, manfully decided to ignore the proceedings and reminisce, bless 'im. Plus he couldn't pronounce "Enrique" properly. A bit of little England was there after all. Now for the football... and the Germans are surprisingly lively at the moment.