Mackie the knife

"Me and my grandfather used to speak about playing for Scotland a lot, and it is a real honour for me to finally get the chance." - Jamie Mackie

Let's be honest, Scotland's latest recruit for the international squad for the double-header against the Czech Republic and Spain is English, even if his grandad was a proud Scot from Kilmarnock. Not that I hold that against him. After all, I'm English too - and if I'd been any good at football I'm sure I'd have been ringing my agent to find out whether my maternal great grandmother from Ayrshire was any use. As it was, my mother and I always supported Scotland and my father England. That was down more to gentle family rivalry and a certain romantic attachment than wafer-thin kinship - but sometimes feelings run deeper than blood. Or even logic.

As for young Jamie, I watched him play many times when I was living down in Devon and went to see Exeter City. He's transformed into a fine young player. I suspect most Grecians fans will be less concerned at his turn to Scotland than they were at his defection to loathed neighbours Plymouth Argyle!  But now he's got used to wearing a bit of blue at QPR, and I hope Craig Levein stays with his instincts and gives Mackie a spin against the Czechs. He's quick, tricky, and has a goal poacher's instincts. Admittedly the step up from the English Championship to this kind of Euro international is a large one, but we have relatively few options and fortune does indeed reward the brave in football. Sometimes. Yep, I know, the grandparent rule is a bit daft. But that's the way it is. 'Mon Jamie!
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Played in Dagenham

Exeter depart after a 1-1 away draw

Exeter City took the lead within just five minutes in this League One encounterwith foot-of-the table Dagenham & Redbridge on Tuesday evening, only to find themselves day dreaming towards a draw. Unmarked Grecians' striker Richard Logan headed comfortably past Daggers 'keeper Tony Roberts - who enjoyed a good bit of banter with the south-west fans throughout the game. (The Welsh sticksman, who faced Exeter on several occasions during the two sides' Conference sojourn, combines his playing career with coaching for QPR and the Arsenal youth set-up.)

For part of the first half it looked as if City would extend their lead, but they didn't manage to create anything in the area, and in a game which was fast-paced and tough, with neither side allowing the other much space, the pendulum gradually swung back to home side. Finally and almost inevitably, as the second half progressed and Dagenham claimed more and more of the ball with their five-man midfield, a Danny Green corner to the Exeter near post was met by French midfielder Romain Vincelot, who headed in from six yards.

In the end it was a point, but a missed opportunity for the visitors. Still, I had a good time, using my brief stay in London to say hello some old Devon friends, including Pete Martin and Di Lee, both Grecians' stalwarts. As for Dagenham, they came off the bottom of the table - until Leyton Orient's home win over Brentford tonight. The best chant of the evening?  Exeter's jaunty taunt, "Have you ever see a beach?" In football quality terms this was better fare than lower league Scottish football. But my heart is happily with Dumbarton.
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Farewell, Adam Stansfield

It's important to remember that beyond the hype, banter, bile and bollocks that often surrounds modern football, what really matters is human life in all its glory and messiness. So my thoughts and wishes are particularly with Exeter City fans this week, following news of the tragic death of striker Adam Stansfield on 10 August 2010. He was 31 years of age, and had been suffering from bowel cancer. It all happened remarkably quickly: abdominal pains in March, a dagnosis in April, a young man's future snuffed out within four and a half months. How precious and frail life is.

I saw Adam in action on numerous occasions over the past few years, the Grecians being my local side until I moved first to Birmingham and now to Edinburgh. He also featured several times in my regular matchday magazine column, naturally. 'Stanno' also made over 110 appearances for Yeovil Town and Hereford United between 2001-6, prior to his Exeter move.

The English Football League Division One game that Exeter would have been played on Saturday 14 August against Dagenham & Redbridge has been understandably postponed while people come to terms with the loss. Up at Dumbarton, we are unfortunately well acquainted with grief, following the awful death of Sons' captain Gordon Lennon in a road accident on 6 June 2009. I'm sure everyone associated with the Club would join me in sending sincere condolences to all Adam's family and friends, near and far.
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Back on the pitch...

"Only just offside? More like off the pitch altogether!" wrote a friend in a recent email. Fair comment. With work being incredibly busy, and life being very full (in a good way, including the odd match ... and some of them were a little odd!), I have been sadly neglecting this oasis of football near-sanity for six weeks or so. But with the Easter weekend opening up some space on the wing, I'm back.

So while Dumbarton head off to Forthbank to take on Stirling Albion this afternoon, I'm putting my feet up here in Birmingam, ticking off one or two tasks on my domestic list, and starting to do the back-posting of my columns from Sons View and The Grecian. While watching anxiously for updates on the Sons' fortunes, of course.

Meanwhile, with back-to-back wins against Colchester and Walsall, my ex-local side Exeter City are looking in much better shape to avoid the drop from League One. There's a long way to go, though. After Brentford away, the Grecians take on Leyton Orient at home. I've actually seen the Os more times than City this term, because of my trips to London and my friend Kevin Scully being a devotee. There's an outside chance I'll make it back to Devon for that encounter. I guess I'll be hoping for a draw.

On the other hand, my true beloveds, Dumbarton, who I will next see on the occasion of their last home game, against Arbroath, on 24 April, have had a really up-and-down season: moments of skill and inspiration followed by moments of laxity and indecision, from what I've seen and heard. In the match preview for today's beano with the Binos, the hugely estimable Alan Findlay writes, with loyal and official optimism, that "Sons' battle to claim a first division play-off spot continues." Hmmnn.. well, I'd like to think so, but short of a convincing win this afternoon I fear it's all over, and my longstanding prediction of fifth place remains. We'd have taken that at the outset of the campaign, no question.

This is the score: If Brechin lose today and DFC win, the mighty Sons of the Rock will still be 5 and 6 points short of the Hedgemen and Stirling, with our two nearest play-off rivals holding one and two games in hand respectively. Since there will then be 18 points left for Sons to play for, that's a pretty big gap to overhaul. Possible, if Dumbarton go on the kind of run that won us the Third Division Championship last term, but not a possibility the bookmakers would be losing too much sleep over, I suspect. That said, I'd be delighted to be wrong, wrong wrong (yet again).

Mind you, if Sons do make the play-offs, my fear then would be us getting promoted and finding ourselves financially scuppered. It's a warped old (mind) game.
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Basking in glory

Unfortunately I wasn't one of the 8,549 people who packed St James Park this afternoon to see Exeter City secure a thrilling 2-0 win against League One leaders Leeds United, having moved to Birmingham earlier this month -- but I can imagine the ecstasy. And for once my anticipatory powers proved right in the programme note I supplied, More memories in the making.

There I wrote: "The bookies have most of their money on new-look Leeds today, and the pundits say Exeter should be happy with a point. But that underestimates the determination of Paul Tisdale’s side... who will be straining every muscle to make this a truly memorable match for all the right (red and white) reasons."

OK, not an outright prediction of victory, but a good nod in that direction. The Grecians have thrown away a number of games they should have claimed this season, so sooner or later they had a favourable upset coming their way, according to the lottery inclinations of football. It's one of the things that makes the game so compelling.

According to the Beeb, "Exeter produced a brilliant showing to inflict only the second defeat of the season on Leeds." Ryan Harley was the two-goal hero, securing the win in the 83rd minute with a 25-yard drive into the top corner that left Casper Ankergren well beaten. I'm looking forward to watching it on the Football League Show tonight... though my guess is that it will be another unsatisfyingly brief clip. The attention will go to Norwich City's five goals and manager Paul Lambert's triumphal return to former club Colchester United. Of course if Leeds had tanked the Grecians, they'd be gushing over this, too.* But that certainly won't dim the warm glow emanating from the southwest tonight...

[* To be fair, Manish Bhasin has just advertised the FLS on Match of the Day with reference to a "major shock in League One", so here's hoping.]

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Exeter's brief Norwich outing

Intrepid Exeter City fans who made the trek from the southwest to Norwich yesterday had to sit it out on the A3 after the winter weather bit hard again. Unfortunately they were not rewarded with any points. But by all accounts the Grecians gave a better account of themselves than the 3-1 scoreline suggests, as a Canaries fan was gracious enough to point out on Exeweb.

The problem at the moment is that results are just not matching performances. In League One mistakes (such as those made by 'keeper Paul Jones for the first and third Norwich goals) are readily punished, and City still seem to lack penetration up front. Relying on Richard Logan as a 'super sub' is not enough. The consolation this time was an 81st-minute goal from veteran Marcus Stewart (picture), who has taken some unfair stick this season, incidentally. Exeter are now poised perilously, just two points clear of the relegation zone, with Oldham, Brighton, Leyton Orient and Tranmere all holding one of two games in hand. The run through to March will be critical, therefore.

BBC1's Football League Show, meanwhile, managed to show less than two minutes of the Norwich -v- Exeter match. That aside, it really is a dire programme. This week, with five games surviving the weather, it was cut to 50 minutes and still only managed to get to League One with 10 minutes to go. Paltry clips are wrapped in annoyingly trite featurettes, the scripted 'analysis' from presenter Manish Bhasin and pundit Steve Claridge is usually uninspiring, Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes doesn't even get a proper surname check ("only a girl", eh boys?) and her hapless role as the chirpy relayer of predictable emails and texts from viewers is downright embarrassing. This could be a really good highlights and magazine programme, but it assumes that its audience is basically dumb and ends up being fragmented and patronising instead -- not to mention too light on actual football content. However, at least it's a break from the ceaseless Prem coverage, so, er, I guess we shouldn't complain. *cough*

Found wanting up front

It all started so promisingly. Having squandered quite a few chances midweek in the 1-0 away defeat against Bristol Rovers, Exeter City began yesterday’s home encounter with Brighton & Hove Albion at a lively pace. For a chunk of the first half it looked as if this was going to be a high quality encounter. But somehow things got bogged down, and once again the Grecians were found lacking up front.

As I had predicted in my programme note, Brighton play better than their lowly league status suggested they would, and after City missed a crucial penalty the Seagulls dug in and eventually found ecstatic reward for the 670 travelling support (out of a decent 5,400 crowd) with a well-taken winner two minutes into the three allocated for time added on.
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Painting the town red

While my locals Exeter City were unfortunately losing out on penalties to Swindon Town in the Johnstone's Paint Trophy (surely the most boringly prosaic football award name since the dire Milk Cup, which sounded like something you might have lost in the playground) I was up in London. This meant that I could catch Leyton Orient at home to Brighton and Hove Albion in the same competition, thanks to the promoting of my friend Kevin Scully. Here's a snap just before kick-off from my iPhone. It was a really entertaining little match, with some good skill on display and quite a few near misses. The Os grabbed the honours within a whisper of time-added-on, much to the chagrin of the vocal visiting support. Credit to them, by the way.

I lived in Brighton myself for over five years, but Albion were one of the few neighbourhood sides I never got to follow. Knowing something of the people and environment of Falmer, I'm afraid I wasn't particularly sympathetic to the Club in the shenanigans over their ground, and found their public presumption concerning a mess they effectively got themselves into rather irritating. Good luck to them this season, nonetheless.

But back to tonight. As a result of being in the capital rather than the southwest, I found myself missing yet another penalty shoot-out -- such as the one that was transpiring at St James Park in Exeter, as it happens. In 43 years of watching football I've never seen a shoot-out 'live' to this day. I was secretly hoping for a chance this evening, but in the end I was happy enough for my Orient friends to let that little unfulfilled ambition pass once more. It was a great seat towards the top-centre of the new stand at the Matchroom Stadium in Brisbane Road, too.

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Trying to find the bright side

It was not a very inspiring game at the Rock yesterday, I gather - an observation perhaps confirmed by the fact that the Dumbarton sponsors' Man of the Match was a player who got sent off and performed for less than half of the game! There were incidents and talking points, however - not least Jan Vojacek's penalty save and dismissal. Sons' difficult start to the season continues. But let's look on the bright side. The 0-0 draw against Stenhousemuir is the first clean sheet of the season, doubles our points tally, takes us off the foot of the table and represents a recovery with a man down. Undoubtedly a win at home against Cowdenbeath (who also came up from the Third, courtesy of Livingston's woes) would make a real difference. Fingers crossed.

Nearer to (my) home, Exeter City took a point at Leyton Orient. I was actually in London today, and would have gone along, but for work and for the fact that my good friend -- and O's fanatic -- Kevin Scully (Kev the Rev) is away right now. Apparently Orient had by far the better first half and the Grecians struggled to adapt to a new winger. But this was more than compsensated by a superb performance and late goal from the man in question, Craig Noone. Meanwhile, Barrow lost at Luton Town but are keeping their noses out of the Conference (Blue Square Premier) relegation zone.
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Almost a sigh of relief

Ah well, it could have been worse. Dumbarton's scrambled 3-3 draw against fellow-strugglers Clyde at least means we have a point, even if we are propping up Division Two at the moment. After falling two behind inside 25 minutes, I feared the worst. Thank goodness for Clyde 'keeper Calum Reidford's red card. And the largeish home gate got a bit of entertainment with the goals -- not that the performance appeased Jim Chapman. Meanwhile, the signing of former Rangers youth defender Ross Harvey (pictured) looks hopeful, if my contact at Brechin is right.

As for the local lads, Exeter City clocked up an away win at Carlisle on Saturday, thanks to a Marcus Stewart penalty and a fair bt of hard work, by the sound of it. I'll catch the home game against MK Dons this weekend. That'll be the first time I've seen "Franchise FC". I'm told their new home is "soulless" and "a dump... Too symmetrical. Horrible place." The trip down to the southwest will be a refreshing change, then.

The second leg of the Champions League qualifier between Arsenal and Celtic will be on telly at my local this evening. I'll take a gander to reward myself for all the hard work I've done today -- but it could be painful. Supporting one of the Old Firm because, in this context, they're the underdogs: that's a strange business, too.

Tony Mowbray wants the Bhoys to grab an early goal at the Emirates in order to have any chance of reversing the 2-0 deficit, achieved by the Gunners at Parkhead by two slightly lucky goals (though no-one could deny their embarrassing superiority overall). Frankly, they'll be lucky to stop Arsene Wenger's men grabbing a hatful. Still, Arsenal are a team whose ethic and footballing splendour I have great respect for - "the acceptable face of the big four" (if such a thing is possible). It would be really good to see them grab the English Premier League title this season. Won't happen, though. Still not enough staying power, I fear.
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Good football will bring results

Exeter City played some good football against Yeovil on Tuesday night: the first league meeting of the two sides, incidentally. The first half performance was strong and there were flashes of inspiration, as well as plenty of determination, from City in the second period -- in spite of a significant revival from the Glovers. The concerns are a lack of first-touch sureness and consistency in the final third, the way the Grecians let their Somerset opponents back into the game immediately after the break, and the confidence factor for 'keeper Paul Jones. He is a very good shot-stopper, but sometimes his handling and assertiveness in the box can be uncertain, and his kicking is clearly inadequate. That was the root cause of Yeovil's (exceptionally well taken) equaliser. I'm sure boss Paul Tisdale can sort these and other problems out as the season progresses. He is putting together a side than can and will play attractive football, and that has its own rewards. But it only pays off if the finishing is good.
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Looking for a break

Both Dumbarton and Exeter City are looking for their first league wins of the 2009-10 season. The situation is better for the Grecians, who take on Yeovil Town tonight after an impressive away display against Leeds United (though they lost 2-1 in the final seconds) and a 1-1 home draw against Norwich City.

Sons, on the other hand, have fallen 3-1 in their first two games and have to wait until Saturday for a crack at Clyde at SHS, where they really need a morale-boosting break. The Bully Wee have also had a disappointing start to the new term. But DFC manager Jim Chapman remains hopeful overall, in spite of the gloomy results.

In the modern game you can't lose matches without the grumble machine grinding into action, but I think we should have faith in Jim. Reassembling a part-time squad for the comparative rigours of Division Two isn't an easy task (unless you're commenting from the sidelines), but I still reckon Dumbarton can survive this year. Could be sticky, though.
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Carling Cup fails to refresh City

Exeter got well and truly tanked by QPR in the first round of the Carling Cup the other night. The final result was 5-0. After a promising first half and signs of hope towards the beginning of the second, everything started to unravel after the first Rangers goal. The nadir was nigh (so to speak) when Scott Golbourne was sent off for handball just after the hour.

The Hoops played some superb, flowing football when the pressure was off, and Wayne Routledge was thoroughly deserving of his hat-trick. For some reason he reminds me of Danny Wallace. It was good to see Grecian fans in the stand applauding their tormentor-in-chief when he was substituted, and even better to hear the Big Bank cheering relentlessly even as City stared a mighty beating in the face.

Some of QPR's play in the final third of the game was a joy to behold - but Exeter manager Paul Tisdale was not smiling. He remains upbeat about the challenge of League One, though. Next up are Norwich City, who have just canned their boss Bryan Gunn after seven months (and a relegation and a 7-1 thrashing) in charge at Carrow Road. His last result for the Canaries was a 4-0 win over Yeovil Town, who come to Exeter next Tuesday night.
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Pipped at the post

So near and yet so far. Realistically, Exeter City should be pleased with going to Leeds and coming away having lost 2-1 only in the last few minutes -- and with a man short, after a sending-off. A couple of seasons ago, a fixture and a result like this would have been unimaginable. And on the day it could so easily have been a draw away at Elland Road. But Paul Tisdale is probably still disappointed and dissatisfied, albeit with no intention of losing his cool or getting it out of perspective. It’s exactly those qualities that have made him such an immensely successful manager with the Grecians since he arrived (on a wave of mild scepticism) from Team Bath, of course. If City can play like this against a side fancied as Championship contenders, it ought to be a fair term for them. But it’s far to early for chickens and their counting.
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All roads lead

It’s an exciting weekend for my locals, Exeter City. A trip to Elland Road is a fascinating and demanding way to kick off the Grecians’ first season in League One after back-to-back promotions. Whereas last term it took a little time to adjust from the Conference to League Two, this season there will be little room to manoeuvre, and ground lost in the opening weeks could be decisive in the long run. Maybe it works in City’s favour that they have been tagged as relegation strugglers. Leeds United, miles from former glory but with big ambitions, will not underestimate them. But few would put money on anything other than a clear Leeds win. Let’s hope the Grecians can pull off more surprises this year, sneaking past the guard of the big boys.
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Inflation at Exeter City

I went to see Exeter City take on Derby County on Saturday. The Grecians had some fine moments, and it seems that, once again, manager Paul Tisdale has made some un-flamboyant but judicious signings over the summer. That said, Derby completely outclassed them at times. The final result was 3-1 to the Rams. It could have been 5-2. That would have been a fair reflection of the balance of play overall. It was a pleasantly entertaining game, though. Plenty of good, flowing moves and touches... plus no-one really had to worry about the result and ex-City man Dean Moxey, back immediately after his transfer, got a good reception and a presentation from the youngsters at the end of the match. He had a constructive game, though his through-balls from the back were often rather predictable. Robbie Savage was shouting at him (and other Derbyites) as soon as he got onto the field towards the end of the second half.

Meanwhile, it was "interesting" to be charged £15 for a friendly game and to discover that the main stand prices (where I sit) will be up this season from £16 to £20 - or more. £25 for the Leeds United game. The commercial vibe is noticeably increasing, in fact. Tony Pryce Sports are taking over the club shop (wonder if prices will go up and merchandise become more 'formatted'?). At this match food and programme sellers were roaming the stands during the game, as they do in US baseball. "Programme!" one guy was shouting, as he half-blocked my view of the action. I was tempted to reply, "No, unobstructed view of the pitch, please!"

City fans will understand that financial pressures increase as you go up the League pyramid. The old stand has to be replaced, too, and that will not be cheap. But there is also a law of diminishing returns. I think £19 would have been a smarter move than £20. It's less of a price Rubicon. I confess that, as a non-season ticket holder, but a regular, I may now sometimes think twice about going to a home game every time I'm in Exeter. (I also have to keep an eye on the pounds to fund my trips to Dumbarton.) And I suspect non-regulars will be put off. The calculation, I assume, is that this does not matter, because there will be more "it's League One, so now we'll go" characters paying up. Plus season ticket sales are over 2,000 already, I'm told.

The Trust and ECFC officials might like to think about this, however. If I want a corporate experience, I'll pay for it elsewhere. It's not what I want at Exeter. What next, stopping me from taking my tea flask in? Try that one, and they'll lose me for good. Meanwhile, some old traditions continue. Like Mike Blackstone's superb matchday programme, The Grecian, which I'm honoured to be writing for again this term. Plenty of local colour in that, alongside the professionalism. The two can and should go together.
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Grecians back in action

I confess that, what with a busy summer, a trip to the US and the focus on Dumbarton, I haven't really been following developments for my locals, Exeter City, that closely. Today I will have the opportunity to check out their signings and prospects at home against Championship hopefuls Derby County. The friendly will elicit mixed feelings from the faithful at St James' Park. On the one hand, there are aspirations to make the next step up to where the Rams currently reside. We will soon see what the gap between League Two and League One looks like - and the rung above that will be on show this afternoon.

Derby manager Nigel Clough is no stranger to Exeter fans, having managed for a number of seasons with Burton Albion in the Conference before stepping up to the table that was once the domain of his late, great father. Likewise, local Heavitree hero Dean Moxey (who, along with equally sadly departed Matty Gill, was a top performer in the 2008-9 promotion season) will have a chance to meet old friends as he returns straight away with his new employers. It will be an interesting try-out for him, I imagine. [Pic: Deano]
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Rain on their parade? Nah...

I will not be in Exeter tomorrow to witness the Grecians' victorious parade around the town centre to celebrate second place in English League Two and automatic promotion to League One - in their first season back in the football league. That's because I have a prior loyalty and commitment to Dumbarton's Third Division title party at Annan. As a supporter for almost 40 years, I couldn't be anywhere else! But as an Exeter resident for nearly six years now, a strong backer of Trusts (I'm naturally a member of the Sons' one), a regular at St James' Park (when I don't have the time or money to get to Scotland), a writer for the superb programme (well done, again, Mike Blackstone), and someone who naturally cheers my 'local heroes'... well, I'm really chuffed for them, too. What a season it's been! So have a great day, City fans. Oh, and even though, as Pete Martin and the weather forecasts might suggest, there could be laden clouds in the southwest tomorrow, surely no amount of liquid sunshine will dampen the spirits there.  

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Champions in all but name!

The Sons have done it! Not withstanding an 18-goal mishap next week, which, I confidently predict, is not gonna happen, the Scottish Third Division Title 2008-9 belongs to Dumbarton. But I'm too exhausted with celebrating to say anything informative, sensible or even downright silly. So you'll have to wait a wee while for that...   Meanwhile, hearty congratulations also to my 'local heroes' Exeter City, who have achieved a second promotion in a row by winning automatic ascent to English League One. 

Monday update:  (May the Fourth be with you, and all that...!) There are now some fine 'almost Champions' celebration photos by Donald Fullarton viewable here. I imagine he might just sell a few. Also, here are some snaps from the Elgin match itself, which, as an afterthought, we won 6-0, in case you didn't notice. I'm still in shock. I have some mobile phone pics of my own, which I will add when I get a moment. I managed to keep out of the frame myself, I think. I shouldn't be so camera-shy... 

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The big match... live

Nah, not the FA Cup, the Champions League, the English Premier League, the Old Firm, or some such nonsense... I'm talking Dumbarton versus Cowdenbeath, which kicked off a few minutes ago. Can Sons go top? My nerves are killing me, and I'm 367 miles away! Right now, I'm perched in front of the computer watching the BBC text update, gin to hand for nerve-steadying, kettle poised to boil for further comfort, waiting from any additional news via the mobile from Denise Currie - who very sweetly keeps me in the picture when I'm not around. It's an away fixture. I gather my friends Tim and Margot Rhead are there, too... I gather it's a really good DFC turnout. I'd be there myself if it wasn't for that £155 rail fare. What we all want to see (or hear about) now is a goal celebration like this one, snapped by the ever-watchful lense eye of Donald Fullarton (for all your photographic needs, etc etc.) Meanwhile, 'mon Sons!

Updates: 15.19 and Annan and Elgin have scored already, I see. No goals at Central Park yet. (Incidentally, fellow writer Jack Deighton conveys the many agonies and occasional ecstasies - we hope - of being a Dumbarton fan very well on his blog. Like me, he's not able to be present regularly. As for Campbell Yule, he was in apocalyptic mood last he scribed.)

15:27 Near competitors Shire have grabbed a goal against Montrose. Meanwhile, in League One, with leaders St Johnstone not playing today, Partick have taken the initiative against Morton... which will please Kenny Macaulay, and Sons fans because of the long-standing local rivalry with 'Ton. Cowden's Sheilds booked on 19 mins, I see. (Big swig of, er, tea.... If I smoked, I'd have a cigarette break. Instead I'll just gnaw the carpet, like a normal person.)

15.34 Stenny are a goal up now, too. The Sons game is the only one in the Third Division without a goal at the moment. (If I go to the loo, will something crucial happen, and will it be my fault if it's not good?) Just remembered Exeter away at Lincoln - which is why I am not at any kind of match today, though I shall cheer on Arsenal in the pub at 5.15. Nil-nil for the Grecians. They need all three points for the automatic promotion chase, too.

15.45 (Have just returned from my comfort break. Nothing too exciting or worrying seems to have happened. But the sun is streaming through the window, and I am crouched before a computer screen. Strange, strange existence, Barrow.) No change in Scottish League Division Three. Exeter need a goal, because Brentford, Wycombe and Bury are all ahead. Do your magic, Pete Martin.

15:49 The Bees are two up against Accrington. They are odds on to win the English League Two championship, I reckon. My late grandfather's side, and the first professional team I ever saw, in 1967. So good on 'em. Nearly half-time, and late lunch time for me...

15:54 Cowdenbeath 0 -v- Dumbarton 0 at the break. Denise texts me with the sad news that Stevie Murray, of all people, missed a penalty for the Sons. Agghh! Still, it's a game of two halves... and hopefully second chances. For us. Give 'em a good (positive) talking to, Chappie. Exeter gridlocked, too. ("All to play for," he says... in full fitba cliche mode. Unavoidable, really. More tea and a Marmite sandwich.)

16.06 We're off again. Janet Lynn Kroeker kindly writes to me on Facebook at 3:49pm April 18: "Raising a glass just for you. (oh wait, it's only 7:40AMPST - hmmmmm)." The wi-fi has gone a bit wonky. More tea. This is a sad thing I am doing, but at least it proves I don't work all the time, right? 0-0 everywhere that matters...

16.17 I am contemplating the beam in my own eye. Specifically, I have often mocked Sky Sports News for broadcasting live pictures of blokes looking at pictures you can't see on screens and telling you what's happening. Now I'm doing it myself - minus the pictures. Forgive, me Jeff Stelling. (And while you're about it, please, stop making near-pervy comments to the delightful Rachel Riley at the end of Countdown. It's creepy, and you really should know better.) Nothing happening goal-wise, so I'm digressing.... as you can see.

16.24 When you note that nothing's happening, isn't that a cue for something to happen? Not this afternoon, it seems. Also, nothing happening is less fun when you're not there. But I see that Brentford have added a third goal and Bury a second. Plus Stenny are two up. Time for the Sons and Grecians to show what theyre made of. Provided it's reinforced steel.

16.27 This is a bit like American Football, in the sense that I am immersed in data and have no interesting sporting action to look at. It's always puzzled me, has American football. A game which involves throwing a ball is named after another body part. People in armour assault each other and call it a game. Plus there are more stoppages than would be needed by an incontinent at a dinner party. Not that I can ever really have claimed to get to grips with the whole thing, as you can tell. I can't get past the nicking of our monicker for what gets called soccer. (Must buy that WSC book on real American football - Football in a Soccer World. Great title.)

16.39 'Final Score' on BBC1 adds to the stat blur. "Stoke have scored. It may help them to stay up, but not mathematically." Eh?!? I love the way football scrambles the brains of commentators and pundits alike. I think they mean "until the game's over".

16.45 Not such good news for Kevin Scully, as Leyton Orient are 2-1 down at home. But they should avoid relegation. Tougher overall for my colleague Jonathan Bartley's side, Nottingham Forest. They are one up, but still in trouble at the bottom of the Championship. Bury have three now. Exeter really need a last-minute goal. So do Dumbarton.

16.48 Yey! Troy Archibald-Henville, the stylish Spurs youth loan player, has scored for Exeter City against Lincoln. That's vital for the Grecians, given the other results around them.

16.51 Time running out and no sign of a winner from Dumbarton. 'Mon Sons! Meanwhile, commiserations to Charlton Athletic (and my friend Stephen Lyon). They have been relagated to the third tier of English football for the first time in 28 years, and only two seasons after being in the Premiership. How are the not-so-mighty fallen.

16.54 Lennon (60 mins) and Gordon (89 mins) have been booked for Dumbarton. Three Cowdenbeath players in the book. No goals. Time added on.... frustrating. My Midlands locals Wolves are up to the Premier League, though I think ex-Sons captain Neill Collins is out of the picture at Molinieux these days. Result at Lincoln. Well done again, Grecians!

16.58 Nil-nil for Dumbarton at Cowdenbeath. That Murray miss cost us dearly, evidently. Ordinarily a draw at Central Park wouldn't be bad, but this keeps the Blue Brazil top, and East Stirling have come within three points of Sons, Montrose having failed to pull level there. If my calculations are correct, Dumbarton are almost guaranteed a play-off place, unless they lose by silly amounts in each of the next three games. But it isn't certain, and we really want that Champions place and auto-promotion in this, the 25th anniversary of gaining our one and only season in the SPL. The play-offs are a lottery.

17.02 My namesakes Barrow grabbed a precious point today, 3-3 after being 0-2 down. They are three points clear of the Conference relegation zone. Really hope they can do it. Go, Bluebirds (and up, not down). Stoke have survived in the PL. Well done, them.

17.12 Denise Currie has the right attititude: "They're [Cowdenbeath] more likely to drop points than us though, so no worries." Me? Worry about my beloved team? Perish the thought. Also, Pauline Goodlad says of Exeter, "The title is still on." Correct again - just. OK, I'm off to the pub to watch Arsenal thump Chelsea in the FA Cup semi-final, I hope. After writing about football all afternoon, I actually need to see some. Albeit on a small screen. Have a good rest of the weekend, y'all...
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