All aboard the Brazilia-Caledonia express

No flagging, lads...

I would have loved to have made the journey to the Emirates Stadium in north London (once again) to see Scotland take on Brazil - the first meeting of the two teams in 17 years, and only the tenth ever. Unfortunately, I have already used my 'work credits' on three London trips in the past month - and besides, as it happens, I'm nursing a stinking cold.

Even so, it's a ringside seat with a comforting cuppa in front of the television to watch the match, courtesy of STV. Much better than the lamentable ITV, but you still have to put up with the irritating advertisement breaks.

The large crowd seems to be creating a really special atmosphere, which you can readily pick up even through the ether.  Scotland, who have secured a couple of historic draws against football's first nation (apart from us) and frequent World Champions, have made a bright start.

We have never beaten the samba boys, and you wouldn't put your money on it happening this afternoon (bright, but windy).  Logic dictates that Brazil, even without a number of their top names, should win by about as many goals as they choose to score. But the Scots can and will raise their game.

This may only be a 'friendly', but it matters in terms of pride, FIFA rankings (barmy though they are), and the opportunity to see just how the up-and-coming generation of Scottish internationals can do against one of the world's great sides.

Let's hope it's a fantastic game. Things look good do far.  And I'm also keeping an eye out for numerous Dumbarton friends in the seething crowd. Some have travelled down overnight by bus. Bleary, but happy. Mind you, a really good day out is needed to put the wounds of yesterday's crushing of the Sons by Brechin City behind us.

The team need to do that, too. Bring on Stenousemuir on Tuesday 29 march - the day before my birthday.
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The wrong trousers

So near, so far

Due to the inconveniences of life and work, I managed to miss two Scotland Euro 2012 qualifiers on television, and one Under-21 game up the street at Easter Road in person. Sadly, all of them ended in defeat. But one loss is not necessarily the same as another. The national team's performance at Hampden against world champions Spain was substantial, with only Fernando Llorente's late strike snuffing out a remarkable fightback from two down. But this heroism and endeavour only accentuated the folly of the "look, no front line" 6-4-0 formula - 6-2-2 if you're being generous - adopted by Craig Levein for the match against a significantly weaker (and weakened) Czech Republic side a few days earlier. The cost of that piece of calculated over-caution could be great indeed come the final countdown in 2011. The fear of losing is one of the greatest blights on modern football. It's easy to criticise for the sidelines and with hindsight. But the Scotland boss, in spite of his bullish defensive of unpopular tactics, has surely been made to think at least twice by the contrast between these two matches. Ah well, according to at least one commentator on the Press & Journal, the future is brighter than many would think - if the Under-21s performance against Iceland is a fair marker. Let's hope so.
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Irish eyes... not exactly smiling

What the Sun newspaper has dubbed 'The Hand of Frog' incident looks set to rumble on. Thierry Henry gave a pretty fulsome apology for the double-handball that, unsighted by the match officials, unjustly sent France through to the 2010 World Cup Finals this week, at the expense of the Republic of Ireland. I was watching the game in my local pub, and unsurprisingly everyone was pretty appalled. Only the bitter and twisted Roy Keane seems to have written the episode off as unworthy of concern.

Both Henry and his former manager and fellow Frenchman Arsene Wenger agree that a replay would be appropriate. FIFA are unlikely to relent on this, having made it clear by deciding to seed the playoffs (something they had not previously announced) that they want to see the biggest sides qualify for South Africa in order to fill their coffers and those of their sponsors. In this context, talk of "fair play" is a hollow sham.

Actually, there is a precedent here. Uzbekistan and Bahrain replayed a World Cup qualifier with FIFA sanction in 2005, after the referee encroached into the area when the Uzbeks had a first half penalty, and then gave a free kick to Bahrain. The difference is that the Henry incident concerns a wrong decision by an official, and the team who might be detrimentally effected are one of the 'big boys'. In football as in life, there's one law for the rich and one for the minnows.

Meanwhile, my admiration for Henry as a player remains undimmed. But his claim that his deliberate handball was 'instinct' and that it is up to the referee to see it not him to come clean at the time will not wash. Again, I doubt that he will receive more than a two- or three-match ban and a censure. By rights he should be barred from the group stage of the World Cup finals. A just punishment would be in his interests to, as this incident should not besmirch an otherwise deserved reputation for beautiful football and fairness.
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The next World Cup winners

Great comedy entertainment on ITV tonight (and its not often I find myself saying that). I switched on after 20 minutes or so to witness In-ger-land being outplayed for a good quarter of an hour... by Belarus, following their scraped early goal. Meanwhile the Wembley crowd have been using a Mexican Wave just to stay awake. Can't see David Beckham being threatened by this "youthful promise". South Africa 2010? It can't go wrong!

(As a footnote, Beckham comes on just short of the hour for his 115th cap. Corner from him. Goal. Quite.)
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A real switch off

An ex-colleague of mine has been all over the media over the past 48 hours. When I knew Mark Perryman he was in magazine marketing and political journalism. Then he went on to co-found "the sporting outfitters of intellectual distinction" Philosophy Football, and over the years he's spent some considerable time involved with England fans' groups. In that capacity he was interviewed by the BBC over the controversial pay-per-view Internet-only streaming of England's World Cup qualifying match against Ukraine on Saturday.

He's rightly described this as "a disaster and a disgrace" in terms of grassroots accessibility to the game -- especially for older people, those on low incomes and those without high-quality broadband... let alone peole who might want to watch socially, rather than crouched over a laptop. Both technologically and demographically, the prospect of the likes of 'Perform' being able to narrow-cast football for profit ahead of people is a grim one. That's true even for those of us who support another nation (in my case, Scotland). 'Perform' certainly wouldn't be getting my money, even if it was a match I wanted to see. As Mark says: "Fifa and Uefa should insist as a condition of entry [to international competitions] that all nations sell their games to terrestrial stations, whether home or away."

Meanwhile, thankfully, the Republic of Ireland's titanic World Cup qualifying tussle with Italy, showing on Sky Sports 2 at 7.30pm, will at least be viewable in pubs. As for Scotland, ironically the Scottish Football Association has had to shelve plans to transmit the Kirin Challenge Cup match with Japan on the Internet due to technological difficulties. The idea was to broadcast the game in Yokohama (also on Saturday 10 October) on the official SFA website. The intention had been to provide the service free to Scottish supporters, in contrast to the deal struck by the Ukrainian FA for the England game.

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Passion and grace

Who said Italian football was defensive and dull? While not everything in Serie A compares to this, tonight's buzzing clash between Inter and Milan at the imposing Stadio Giuseppe Meazza provided a feast of entertainment and numerous discussion points - after a somewhat stop-go start laced with niggling fouls. Thankfully, though, the derby passion didn't boil over into long-term recrimination.

As a game, this was superior to almost anything I've seen in England's self-appointed "best league in the world" this season, notwithstanding sparkling moments from Manchester United and (earlier on) Arsenal. Fabulous technique, exquisite touches, robust challenges, flowing moves, really good goals, near misses and several fine saves. It had a bit of everything.

AC Milan can count themselves unlucky not to have claimed a point. They dominated periods of the match. But they were let down by a slightly square back four and failure to capitalise on neat build-ups from midfield. David Beckham was effective when he had the ball, but he had a relatively quiet night for Milan. He had to go off in the 57th minute with a hamstring complain, following his midweek injury. So that would be it, I guess.

Inter's first goal was clearly off Adriano's arm, which he was raising as the ball fell from his head. In my opinion it should have been disallowed. Pippo Inzaghi had three great chances for Milan. You would have expected him to claim one of them. The goal he 'scored' late in the second half was immediately ruled out by a yellow flag. This is a man who Alex Ferguson once described as "probably being born in an offside position." You can see why, and the AC support groaned. Not this neutral though. It was well worth the watch on BBC3 or (in my case) streamed online.
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Turning the tables

What a fascinating night. A good 2-1 win for Scotland against Iceland, in spite of one or two shakes. Kirk Broadfoot of Rangers (pictured, celebrating his goal) made a good debut and the Scots got exactly the boost they needed. Wales were less fortunate to have a draw snatched from them at the end in Moscow by a commanding Russia. But inevitably the talking point of the evening will be England's 4-1 demolition of Croatia. After an uneasy start it was an impressive display of determination, organisation and (when the confidence was flowing) skill. I still don't think they are anywhere near being top class, but Fabio Capello will make them cunning and hard to beat. He is clearly going for the team solidity and tactical depth they have often lacked.

The fact that this was, in some respects, like a blood and thunder Premier League game helped quite a bit. Croatia were unexpectedly poor, too. The decisive difference was the inspiration of hat-trick hero Theo Walcott -- an intelligent, decent young man (and a fine, pacy footballer too) who has been well nurtured by cautious Arsene Wenger and whose time has now come. At the 2006 World Cup, Sven Goran Eriksson was criticised for taking him at just 17 years old. He no doubt hoped that in training he would show the flashes needed to be trusted as a super sub. It didn't work out. But Capello was well rewarded tonight.
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Once more unto the breach

After failing to salvage a point away against Macedonia in an admittedly tricky beginning to their World Cup qualifying campaign, Scotland very much need a win in Iceland tonight - both to improve their position in the (nascent) table and to gain the confidence boost that a first victory under George Burley will give to both players and manager. That acknowledged, I think defender Gary Caldwell is quite right to say it's far too early to be pressing the panic button.

"To judge it over one game is incredible, to say we are out this early," Caldwell commented. "We know we have got a team that is capable of winning games and qualifying. The reaction is a bit embarrassing to be honest - that people can judge people so early and jump on it as much as they do. They need to take a look at themselves, really, and get behind the country because we are all trying to do something that has not been done for a long time. A little bit of help would come in handy."

For those of us with just terrestrial TV the game won't be shown down here, so instead I will venture to the pub to see England in Croatia. The Croatians have improved since they knocked the English out of the Euro 2008 qualifiers, while Fabio Capello has so far struggled to get much more out of the squad available to him. The boo-boys will be quick to blame a "foreign manager" (undoubtedly one of the finest in the world) if England fail to perform or get a result again. But with your own fans jeering you, a team of players quite a few of whom wouldn't make it into other European sides, and a combination of talents acclimatised to the energy of the Premier League and relying on more technically adroit overseas colleagues (yes, it's still true)... is it that surprising? We'll see.
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Argentina coast it (almost)

Yup, I'm still here. (Well, off to bed for three more hours as I publish this). A good interview with affable and informed SABC African football expert Christopher Bongo kept me awake at half time in the Olympic football final... rather than Adrian Chiles' hopeful repetition of the word "fascinating" to encourage us along. The second half kicked off at a predictably lethargic pace, given that it's 32 degrees on the pitch. But Angel di Maria (from Benfica) soon exploited the space behind the Nigerian defence for Argentina, and that has pretty well settled the game.

Messi is teasing them now. He's after the killer goal. But Romero (63 minutes) has now wasted a good chance for the Africans, who have brought on the lively Anichebe (from Everton). He almost scored with his first touch and again on 84 minutes. Argentina are looking more than a little vulnerable at the back. They have three out of four defenders with international experience, but only seven caps between them. It's a young side, as is the aim of the Olympics (given that bona fide "amateurism" went out of the window some time ago). But power and pace at the front will see them through. And it has. Though they didn't dominate as they would have hoped. Gold for the Argentinians, but not a great match, though it livened up a little towards the end.
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Bronze standard football

After 31 minutes it's a rather strange Olympic football final. The pitch is not great, the atmosphere is muted and the pace is slow, with a flashes of skill mitigated by silly mistakes and a general directionlessness to the play. It's like watching an under 21s international friendly. As might be expected with Riquelme (from Boca Juniors), Mascherano (of Liverpool), Aguero (Independiente) and Messi (Barcelona) in their line-up, Argentina are dominating and Nigeria struggling to use their main asset - pace.

The referee, who has only had one other game in the tournament so far, is having a poor game. He failed to give Argentina a fairly secure penalty in the third minute, failed to play an important throw-in advantage by being off the pace at a crucial moment, failed to book a Nigeria defender for a cynical edge-of-the-area tackle and thinks ten yards is nearer 15. Ouch. And now he's allowed a short 'drinks break'! Don't know if I'll last this one out.

Incidentally, football has been included in every summer Olympiad except 1896 and 1932 as a men's competition sport. The women's game was added to the official programme in 1996. But the seriousness (or otherwise) with which the major European powers treat the tournament is testified by the fact that Italy went out to Belgium. Not a gold standard.
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Gold, silver, insomnia...

The Olympic men's football final takes place at the national stadium in Beijing tomorrow - at what will be 5 AM in the morning for those of us viewing it from Britain... and not putting much of a premium on sleep. I just might, you know. I don't have a game to go to. After Brazil crashed out in the semis (Dunga is not amused) Argentina have gone through to face Nigeria. With Lionel Messi and the son-in-law of Diego Maradona on board (he's quite handy, and his family will be present) there should really only be one outcome. But the Nigerians are not likely to sit back and defend passively, so it could be entertaining.
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World in an egg cup

Earlier in the year I had some thought of going to Hampden last night to watch the friendly between Scotland and Northern Ireland. Since it turned out to be a snorefest, with no goals and both sides nursing a significant number of injuries, I'm kind of glad I didn't. Thank goodness the Scots managed to keep out that David Healy penalty. Not many have denied him a goal when he's been wearing a green shirt recently. There is a right blend of youth and experience to be had for this team, but it's one with little margin for error and a great need for the traditional 'heart' that the national side feeds on. As for Scotland's prospects when the World Cup heat is turned on, it sounds as if there wasn't enough on display last night to offer a sound judgement. Although that's precisely what's being asked of manager Craig Burley at the moment. Good luck to him. And I mean that very sincerely.

But what, then, of Capello? Since no-one in Exeter was showing the Scotland game, I ended up watching England escape with a lucky draw against a Czech Republic side who quietly outclassed them without ever really having to try. A win against Andorra and an away draw against Croatia are the likely outcomes of their Word Cup qualification forays next month. But as for winning the thing itself? Apparently one bookmaker has England at 9/1. Might as well bet on them being hit by an egg cup from Mars. In short, England were mostly pish. This is a squad with no genuine depth. The majority of what was on show last night wouldn't make it into the starting line ups of the real European footballing powers, and Fabio is going to have to work some serious magic to avoid yet more bitter recriminations. When that happens it will take more than the ritual sacrifice of poor Brian Barwick to satisfy the baying hordes.
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Just fancy that...

Not that I really care whether England get the World Cup in 2018 (I'd much prefer a joint England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland bid, with a home tournament to see who gets the 'automatic' two qualification places)... but as I've mentioned recently, I'm amazed at how the FA is being strung along. Recently Jack Warner, secretary of the Trinidad & Tobago Football Federation and major FIFA luminary, went around loudly saying he was against England getting it and wanted a host from the Americas. Now he's suddenly swung the other way. Yeah, right. Expect more to-ing and fro-ing over the coming months. The man is, as they say, "having a laugh", much as he did during the last round of corruption investigations. Meanwhile, England take on - guess who? - tonight. I'm glad that Beckham's been given another swing at the captaincy and, well, its a game of football, after all. Something to see us through to the European Championships next Saturday, no matter how inconsequential.
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Quel surprise...

For ages, people in the know about FIFA have been advising England that they are potentially wasting vast sums of money on a 2018 World Cup bid which will go nowhere. This month, the FA are scurrying around trying to placate the spotlessly incorruptible CONCAF chieftain Jack Warner, who fearless investigative journalist Andrew Jennings (pictured) has suggested is less than worthy to star in a Dixon of Dock Green remake. Now we learn that the USA will launch a counter-bid. And, guess what? JW believes the best location for the World Cup in 2018 is... the Americas. Failing that, anywhere but England, I'd guess.
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An amazing night for Rangers

I'm in (delighted) shock. Rangers are in the UEFA Cup Final after an extraordinarily resilient display against Fiorentina and a penalty shoot-out victory. Unsurprisingly, the superior Italians dominated for 120 minutes, reports Goal.com. But a mixture of poor finishing and heroic Blues defending allowed the Scots to hold on in extra time for penalties. Then substitute Nacho Novo struck home the winning spot-kick to take 'Gers through. Fiorentina star Zdravko Kuzmanovic had last night told the media that it would be "a disaster" if his club crashed out of the UEFA Cup to Rangers. The reaction since has been sour grapes. Heads will no doubt roll.

There's a dimension to the Glasgow side, associated with sectarianism, that I've never liked. Plus no-one should pretend that 'the best team won' in the semi. But there's no doubt, this is a great night for Scottish football. With Russian team Zenit St Petersburg surprisingly demolishing tournament favourites Bayern Munich 4-0 (5-1 on aggregate), the 'Gers will probably never get a better chance to lift this trophy than on 14 May 2008 in the City of Manchester stadium.
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Paying the penalty

I've long had a suspicion that we might see a Barcelona-Chelsea Champions League final - which should be good news to Manchester United and Liverpool fans, given my established predictive shortcomings. United now have to stop Barca scoring at Old Trafford and get something themselves. However, they have not been helped by Cristiano Ronaldo showboating at the penalty spot yesterday. Trying to side foot into the top right-hand corner is the sort of thing you do on the training ground, not in a vital match like this. Confidence can segue into arrogance when young players' minds are turned by inflated acclamations of their own brilliance, it seems.

The perils of the spot-kick are also highlighted in a new report that appears this week, implausibly enough, in the academic journal Scientific American Mind. English footballers missing penalties and women doing badly at maths could all be down to historical stereotyping rather than innate inability, according to researchers.

A new report by psychologists at Universities of St Andrews and Exeter (I first noticed this one in the local paper) argues that success or failure at work, school or in sport is not always down to lack of ability or incompetence. Instead, they suggest that the power of stereotypes can cause poor performance when a person believes they should do badly.

Professor Alex Haslam of the University of Exeter explained, "The power of stereotypes should not be underestimated. What we think about ourselves - and also, what we believe others think about us - determines both how we perform and what we are able to become."

The report, published on 22 April 2008, argues that the roots of poor performance lie partly in the preconceptions of how well a certain group (usually relating to gender or nationality / ethnicity) should perform certain tasks. For example, one reason why the England football team performs badly in penalty shoot-outs (winning only 1 out of 7 in major tournaments) is that performance is impeded by a history of failure.

We think it, therefore it happens - a psychological mindset takes over which overcomes those given the responsibility of discharging the fans' dreams.

This won't be news to Sven Goran Eriksson. When he was interviewed some months ago by Gabby Logan on the BBC's Inside Sport, he said that the one thing he would have done differently during his tenure as England national manager would have been to employ a professional psychologist to assist with preparation for penalty shoot-outs.
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Get drunk, have a kebab

More than any other type of venue, other than some pubs perhaps, football grounds in a southerly direction are frequently festooned by the red and white flags of St George - not just at this time of year, but throughout the season. Makes me a bit queazy, to be honest. Not just because the symbol has so often been colonised by far right xenophobes (there's no reason to let them monopolise it), but because it still often accompanies an unhealthy, chauvinistic form of Englishness. I say that as an English person with a miniscule trace of Scots ancestry that has played a significant role in getting me to look askance at all this. I also love they way Dumbarton fans have adapted the flag in a black and yellow direction.

Anyway, the BBC Radio 4 'Today' programme commissioned a wonderfully tongue-in-cheek poem for 23 April - By George! by Scottish poet Elvis Mcgonagall. It's his copyright, please note, even though I've reproduced it below. If it doesn't want to make you laugh, bury stupid national differences, and have a friendly drink with someone a bit weird, nothing will.

Once more unto the breach, dear Morris Dancers
once more
Jingle your bells, thwack sticks, raise flagons
Cry “God for Harry and Saint George!”
Gallant knight and slayer of dragons
Patron saint of merry England
– And Georgia, and Catalonia, and Portugal, Beirut, Moscow Istanbul, Germany, Greece
Archers, farmers, boy scouts, butchers and sufferers of syphilis
Multicultural icon with sword and codpiece
On, on you bullet-headed saxon sons
Fly flags from white van and cab
But remember stout yeomen, your champion was Turkish
So – get drunk and have a kebab

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Uphill for Capello

Not a startling beginning to Fabio Capello's reign as England boss this evening: a 2-1 Wembley victory over an under-strength Switzerland side that introduced a host of subs and still nearly snatched a draw right at the close. Still, at least you couldn't accuse it of being a false dawn. Under the tough Italian, things can only get better. But as Alan Shearer rightly observed from the BBC1 pundit's chair this evening, if a manager of this undoubted quality can't get the players everyone has been saying 'can do it' to perform, then "things are worse than we thought". On the evidence of this plodding display, with sparks of creativity, there is a long way to go. But then no-one seriously thought this wasn't a long haul, and Capello said as much in his interview with Ray Stubbs ("Stubbsio" - Gary Lineker) before the game, with reference to the ascent towards a 2010 Word Cup in South Africa.

The Italian also pointed out earlier in the week that he has 37 players to examine in the English Premier League, whereas there are 66 potential internationals ready to serve their country in Serie A. Or, to put it less kindly, his problem as England manager is that he can only pick English players. It isn't that there aren't some pretty decent ones, though how many of them would be selected for France, Spain, Italy, Argentina or Brazil is another matter. No, the difficulty has been getting them to gel as a team and perform with consistency, quality and adaptability.

Sven Goran Eriksson did a good job overall, but received ill-informed bile towards the end. Steve McClaren was out of his depth, but can't be blamed for saying "yes" when offered the post. Capello is a master with little sense of fear. The question is, how can he transform the game in the middle of the park? The way to play England, it seems, is to spread in midfield and deny them space. That is what Switzerland, hardly past masters, did tonight. All too often, England players lacked the consistent technical ability to maintain first-touch passing and get through. For their clubs they can rely on other European colleagues to assist with that task, while they provide guts and movement. It wasn't like that here.

In the end, the two goals came from incisive moves from the side. The new boss will hope that the Gerrard - Wright-Phillips move for the second is a sign of what is, in fact, possible on a more regular basis. Capello will want to do a lot more than wish, however. And no doubt he will do... a lot more.

Let the Tartan Army toast Becks

Hard-man Fabio Capello was quite right, of course. Even training diligently with Arsenal and having what Arsene Wenger called "the right physical and mental attitude" isn't the same as matchday experience. Nevertheless, it's hard not to feel for David Beckham, as he waits to see whether his 100 England caps will be fulfilled in one of the Summer friendlies. France is three days after Becks' first LA Galaxy game, so that's probably too early. You also have to wonder whether playing live football (sorry, 'soccer') for a team that would struggle in the English second division (sorry, 'Championship') is really so massively better than toning up in practice games with the likes of Emmanuel Adebayor. We will see.

The ideal solution, of course, would be for Goldenballs to make his century appearance against Scotland, where the Tartan Army could toast him (though not necessarily in a good way!) I'd love it to happen, and I'd love to be there; for two reasons. First, I want to see Scotland beat England, obviously. Second, and all joking aside, I have always had huge regard for Beckham. Given the fact that he swims daily in a mad universe of celebrity and money, he's stayed remarkably level-headed and decent overall. His distribution and set play skills are absolutely top-class. His work rate and determination put his more spiteful critics to shame. I really, really hope he gets his day of international recognition... with Super Faddy denying his team consolation on the pitch in the 92nd minute. Probably won't happen, though. Apparently, Capello has no interest in a Scotland fixture. Bah.

Watford is the new paradise

It's an unlikely proposition for most of us, but Watford FC is like paradise according to 19-year-old midfielder Al Bangura. That's because, after a tireless campaign by supporters, local MP Claire Ward, civil rights activists, the local community, the Club and the Daily Mirror newspaper, Bangura has at last secured a work permit in Britain and has thrown off the threat of summary deportation hanging over his head. The earlier Home Office decision to send him back to war-torn Sierra Leone would have been "a death sentence", he and his backers declared. He faced persecution and possible execution from the Soko Society sect had he been repatriated to the country he fled when 15 years old. It's a right and proper end to a dismal saga, which highlights the lack of perspective and compassion often surrounding the issue of asylum and refugee status in Britain, under pressure from a hysterical tabloid media and cowed politicians. We're a wealthy country, and we benefit from the huge disparities of riches and power which exist in our world today - ones that, along with some great football, I hope, will be on display in the African Cup of Nations starting tomorrow. That's why those fleeing terror and conflict (a tiny number, compared to those displaced in the global South) deserve fairness and dignity, not fear and loathing.