Gloriously behind...

No, not Dumbarton in the Irn Bru SFL Second Division (though that too), but me in terms of reproducing match reports and summaries, posts from Changing Scottish Football and other bits of football writing (Sunday Post et al) here.

I'll try to have a proper 'catch up' next week.
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Taking it on the chin

JR cogitates...

East Fife manager and Hearts legend John Robertson stopped over for a quick chat with the Edinburgh Sons' supporters' car on the way out of Strathclyde Homes Stadium today. And very good hearted he was, too, seeing that his side had just been beaten 4-2 by Dumbarton - something of a dent to their play-off aspirations. Sons' striker Jon McShane, who scored two superb goals, had played a fantastic game, Robbo willingly conceded. His own front-man Craig Johnstone had hit a really polished equaliser midway through the second half, it should be added. Indeed, all the goals will be well worth watching via the SonsTV highlights early next week. The only pity is that, as a result of SFL rules (which really don't seem to benefit anyone at the moment), DFC are only allowed to show five minutes of the match. Even though we pay to film it. Football is a mad industry, sometimes.
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Where all the money goes

For a number of years David Hills has been putting together the excellent 'Said & Done' column in the Observer newspaper each Sunday. It's a "must read", combining useful research and a tongue-in-cheek approach to highlight the growing gap between rhetoric and reality among those who run, play, manage - and profit from - the global game.

Sepp orders a Latte...

This week, we learn, inter alia, that  ever-charming Sepp Blatter's report for FIFA on the World Cup ("I am the happiest man. It's a huge, huge financial success") reveals: • $4.19 billion income from the four-year World Cup cycle, tax-free via FIFA's status as a "non-profit body existing to invest in football development". • A rather smaller $794 million amount invested in football development, including FIFA's 'Win in Africa' social project. • $631 million added to FIFA's reserves (now standing at a record $1.2 billion, up from just $76 million in 2003). • $707 million on "expenses". Naturally. • FIFA's wage bill: $65.3 million paid to 387 employees – averaging $168,700 each.

And the rest?  Watch Hills' space.
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Why the "just banter" defence is pathetic (and dangerous)

The most regular (and vacuous) litany in defence of the comments made about women inside the Sky television environment, by Andy Gray and others, is that it's "just banter" and that people who don't like it should "lighten up" and "get a sense of humour". No it isn't "just banter". It's the social glue of a culture of routine bigotry and bullying, say those who have spoken to journalist Matt Scott. Three women who held prominent positions at Sky Sports independently describe a "lads' club" that has created a "climate of fear" for some within it - both women and those lower down the employment chain.

Fearing repercussions that could harm their careers if they were identified, the three spoke to the Guardian newspaper on condition of anonymity, says Scott. But despite talking separately, their views echoed each other's; each describing an intimidating and sexist culture cemented, they believe, by the behaviour of Gray and his co-presenter, Richard Keys. (There has been much speculation about who leaked the series of incriminating off-air tapes that have found their way to the media and onto YouTube. Those on the inside say that people on the receiving end of the "banter" and its associated behaviour finally had enough and decided to get their own back.)

One former Sky journalist said: "It came as absolutely no surprise to me to see this. The surprise is that we haven't seen more. It's the kind of language and vocabulary that is used within the Sky football department all the time."

Another, who still works for the organisation, declared: "There are many stories of their shocking behaviour... It's a climate of fear pervading. But as long as everyone is laughing and it's a joke it's all right isn't it? I believe sexism is systemic and not openly challenged but goes underground or disguised as jokes or 'just banter'."

The third separately cited how "just banter" is claimed as a defence, and explained why that claim holds no water. "Live football is well known as something everyone wants to work on. But no one wants to work with those two. They took the piss out of a runner for having no money. It's nasty bullying with an edge. It's not just banter."

The whole article is available here.

The other issue that has been raised concerns the due process (or lack of it) in Andy Gray's sacking. That may or may not get to an employment tribunal. I have no time for employers behaving in a high-handed or illegal way. But that is a distinct issue from the the question of degrading and insulting behaviour towards women in the media environment and across the football world.  That clearly needs tackling, and if these incidents bring us closer to stronger action of gender equality and respect within the game as a whole, so much the better.

Image acknowledgements and (c) Bryan Christie Design, whose work may be viewed and purchased here.
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Time to stop the excuses for sexism in football

Even more depressing than the puerile, bigoted and deeply unfunny 'banter' that got Sky TV presenters Andy Gray and Richard Keys into hot water over their comments about referee Sian Massey, is the number of otherwise decent people who are feebly trying to excuse it. Demeaning comments and behaviour towards women are still regarded as acceptable in many corners of the football universe. But as BBC journalist Jim Spence says in his eloquent blog, there is No place for sexism in Scottish football. Or anywhere else, for that matter. It's as simple as that.

Some are complaining about Gray's dismissal, but who would seriously want to (or should have to) work with someone who thought it was fine to dangle his mic at you, and tell you to "tuck this in for me, love" as he gestured towards his trousers during a commercial break? That's the kind of thing his colleague and co-presenter Charlotte Jackson had to put up with. What it illustrates is that 'normalising' prejudice segues readily into discriminatory and degrading behaviour. It's neither a 'private matter' (as some have tried to claim), nor something that can be simply pushed aside as the product of 'political correctness' (a lazy, catch-all dismissal deployed by people who don't want to be bothered with rational thought when faced with violations of decency and justice).

North of the border, Scottish referee Morag Pirie, who officiates in the Highland League and the Third Division, commented on the Gray and Keys affair: "They [made] the comments before the game even started. They hadn't even seen [Massey] perform. It's disrespectful to her as a person. It's hard enough to encourage women to take up refereeing as it is." Quite.

Meanwhile, Sian Massey last night found herself being stood down from running the line for Crewe Alexandra's match with Bradford, for fear of the reaction it might produce. That shows just how spineless our football authorities are in the face of prejudice against women.

So within a week of officiating (very well) at an English Premier League match, the recipient of the prejudice finds herself ruled out of participation in a Football League fixture and then reduced to refereeing in the sixth tier of the pyramid this coming Saturday: the Blue Square Bet North game between Corby Town and Eastwood.

Mind you, Corby manager Graham Dury is to be thoroughly congratulated for his own response. He told BBC Radio Northampton: "If they've dropped her to our level [because of the row], that's a shame. She stamps her authority on the game and she interacts with players well. We've got a top referee for this game... We've had Sian before and she had a fantastic game." Hopefully the publicity might at least increase the gate a bit.
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Another Euro night car crash from ITV

As half-time approaches, Arsenal's Champions League group stage encounter with Partizan Belgrade is proving less than compelling. Which is a pity, because on their day (or evening) the Gunners are one of the most attractive sides on the planet to watch. The occasion is not helped by the fact that I'm having to view it on ITV, whose coverage is proving as lamentable as ever. One moment it drips with condescension or dismissal towards the 'foreigners'. The next it offers another wobbly footed cliche, banal 'insight', or minor piece of misinformation. "He's probably going to get that treated... Oh, he's back on the pitch."

Robin Van Persie's penalty to give the home side the lead was very soft, but they should have enough to see them through, even if Partizan are not quite the supreme mugs ITV clearly thinks them to be. The best moment so far has been the commentary team's 'Alan Partridge blip' with the nickname of Parizan's supporters (read: ultras). Grobari means 'Gravediggers' they rightly inform us, before speculating vaguely that this might have "something to do with their black uniforms". Then, with perhaps the faintest warning echoes of Balkan politics (and maybe the recent history of regional football hooliganism) sinking in, they add: "er, hopefully nothing more sinister."  No, of course not, boys.

Meanwhile, anchor Adrian Chiles' attempt to explain the fairly simple maths of Group H produces amused consternation in the studio and further bafflement in the gantry. For the record, Arsenal need to beat Belgrade in this, their final match, to guarantee progress. Shakhtar Donetsk will top the group if they avoid defeat to Braga, who are also seeking a place in the next round. Arsenal can still go through if they draw or lose to Partizan Belgrade but only if Braga do not improve on that result. The Gunners can also still top the group if they win and Donetsk lose to Braga. Seemples....

The second half resumes. "What could possibly go wrong?" asks Peter Drury of Jim Beglin. Or possibly the other way round ... it's all becoming a horrid blur. Well, for one thing, lads, Partizan could score. Oh look, they have! Who'd have thunk it, what with them being vastly, ridiculously, unfathomably inferior and all that? Ah well, "that's football". Now the Gunners could be sunk by a single goal in one of two other games. (Oh good, they've figured that. Things are looking up.)

Theo Walcott scores on 72 minutes and Samir Nasri makes it 3-1 on 76. "Huge relief" and "it's all right on the night" (especially for the commentators). Arsenal will now progress in the European big boys' competition. The affable Chiles will try to throw a bit more humour at his colleagues' weapons-grade cluelessness. The rest of us will survive to return to another TV channel, thankfully. Job done.

Image (c) and courtesy of Sabotage Times: "We can't concentrate. Why should you?"
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Professional foul?

When Dumbarton last won Scottish football’s top division title, in 1890/91 and 1891/92, we were an amateur team. Turning professional created the first traumas in our long history. Now we’re professional but part-time – and the debate about ‘professionalism’ in sport - however you define that - rumbles on. Last night there was an interesting BBC documentary about the issue (professionalism, not Dumbarton's stresses and strains!)  More information and links here, at my new blog on the SonsTrust site.
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Exeter's brief Norwich outing

Intrepid Exeter City fans who made the trek from the southwest to Norwich yesterday had to sit it out on the A3 after the winter weather bit hard again. Unfortunately they were not rewarded with any points. But by all accounts the Grecians gave a better account of themselves than the 3-1 scoreline suggests, as a Canaries fan was gracious enough to point out on Exeweb.

The problem at the moment is that results are just not matching performances. In League One mistakes (such as those made by 'keeper Paul Jones for the first and third Norwich goals) are readily punished, and City still seem to lack penetration up front. Relying on Richard Logan as a 'super sub' is not enough. The consolation this time was an 81st-minute goal from veteran Marcus Stewart (picture), who has taken some unfair stick this season, incidentally. Exeter are now poised perilously, just two points clear of the relegation zone, with Oldham, Brighton, Leyton Orient and Tranmere all holding one of two games in hand. The run through to March will be critical, therefore.

BBC1's Football League Show, meanwhile, managed to show less than two minutes of the Norwich -v- Exeter match. That aside, it really is a dire programme. This week, with five games surviving the weather, it was cut to 50 minutes and still only managed to get to League One with 10 minutes to go. Paltry clips are wrapped in annoyingly trite featurettes, the scripted 'analysis' from presenter Manish Bhasin and pundit Steve Claridge is usually uninspiring, Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes doesn't even get a proper surname check ("only a girl", eh boys?) and her hapless role as the chirpy relayer of predictable emails and texts from viewers is downright embarrassing. This could be a really good highlights and magazine programme, but it assumes that its audience is basically dumb and ends up being fragmented and patronising instead -- not to mention too light on actual football content. However, at least it's a break from the ceaseless Prem coverage, so, er, I guess we shouldn't complain. *cough*

A real switch off

An ex-colleague of mine has been all over the media over the past 48 hours. When I knew Mark Perryman he was in magazine marketing and political journalism. Then he went on to co-found "the sporting outfitters of intellectual distinction" Philosophy Football, and over the years he's spent some considerable time involved with England fans' groups. In that capacity he was interviewed by the BBC over the controversial pay-per-view Internet-only streaming of England's World Cup qualifying match against Ukraine on Saturday.

He's rightly described this as "a disaster and a disgrace" in terms of grassroots accessibility to the game -- especially for older people, those on low incomes and those without high-quality broadband... let alone peole who might want to watch socially, rather than crouched over a laptop. Both technologically and demographically, the prospect of the likes of 'Perform' being able to narrow-cast football for profit ahead of people is a grim one. That's true even for those of us who support another nation (in my case, Scotland). 'Perform' certainly wouldn't be getting my money, even if it was a match I wanted to see. As Mark says: "Fifa and Uefa should insist as a condition of entry [to international competitions] that all nations sell their games to terrestrial stations, whether home or away."

Meanwhile, thankfully, the Republic of Ireland's titanic World Cup qualifying tussle with Italy, showing on Sky Sports 2 at 7.30pm, will at least be viewable in pubs. As for Scotland, ironically the Scottish Football Association has had to shelve plans to transmit the Kirin Challenge Cup match with Japan on the Internet due to technological difficulties. The idea was to broadcast the game in Yokohama (also on Saturday 10 October) on the official SFA website. The intention had been to provide the service free to Scottish supporters, in contrast to the deal struck by the Ukrainian FA for the England game.

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Booted into touch

Thought the BBC didn't take adverts? It depends where you live. Staying briefly here in New York City I can't access video clips (interviews, action sequences and the like) from their football website - but instead I get promotions for all kinds of US products and films. I assume this doesn't happen randomly. If it's paying for content elsewhere by using the space provided by copyright limited content in other territories, fair enough I guess. Come to think of it, does BBC America take paid-fors? I've never actually noticed... but I guess this is regarded as part of overseas "commercial services" that keep the mainland British license fee down.
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Whoops... they did it again!

Does someone subbing for the Guardian (yes, it does happen!) harbour a secret love for Dumbarton? By some strange synchronicity, just after Sons View published my article mentioning their unfortunately false report that we had beaten Ross County in the Scottish Cup last year, I picked up the sports section for 23 February... and, lo and behold, the following result appeared: Dumbarton 1 Cowdenbeath 0. Regrettably the Blue Brazil had equalized around 32 hours before that was published, so the mighty DFC's title chase has probably been squashed. Still, though 10 points adrift of the leaders, we are very much in contention for the play-offs. And there's a game in hand... and football is all about sanguine optimism. Or possibly misreported dreams.
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Tacky truck tricks

Last night I faced a difficult choice. Nip down to the pub for the Real Madrid versus Liverpool game (meaning my busy writing schedule would be interrupted) or continue working away with Middlesborough versus West Ham on in the background (thus having to endure ITV... the bane of the telly football fan's life).

This kind of dilemma is forced upon me by virtue of a household decision that having a crappy non-digital TV with an indoor aerial and nothing but terrestrial channels amounts to brave defiance of The Great God Tellyaddict. In reality it just means watching stuff you don't really want to see because you can't watch the stuff you do. IMHO. Anyway, I opted for the absorbing Euro-encounter via Sky (don't think this means I like you, either, Rupert Murdoch!) rather than an ITV shambles in an electrical snow storm.

There are thousands of reasons to hate ITV's football coverage. The recent technical glitches don't even begin to touch it. My greatest complaint is that after the climax of some emotionally intense game you won't get a chance to wind down naturally with a bit of banal punditry or the post-match interviews. You will be switched straight to some bloody insurance advert and completely 'lose the moment'.

That said, if ever I am feeling a sporting low coming on, I can always cheer myself up by recalling the iconic badness of the 'Tactics Truck'. This was the short period of insanity where ITV thought it would be a good idea to park a glorified transit van outside the ground of the game they were covering, fill it with dodgy equipment displaying pointless graphics, and make poor Andy Townsend wear his best "I know this makes me look a complete plonker, but I'm trying my best, OK?" expression.

In short, move over The Office. The Tactics Truck was the true precursor to, and inspiration for, the new comedy of embarrassment. When this gloriously dreadful feature went belly up, they replaced it with a couple of pundits (poor old Andy again, plus teflon Ally McCoist) lurking on the touchline with clipboards. This made them look like illicit reporters from a non-award winning student newspaper. Since then, of course, things have only gone downhill.... but oh, such joyful memories!

[Photo (c) and courtesy of the Tactics Truck blog, which sadly seems to have gone out to grass lately]
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Caught with their brief down

Ah, the routine perils of sports journalism: especially the "That's it, there's only a couple of minutes to go, I'll put the wrap on this and nip down to the pub" syndrome. So it was that Scotland on Sunday's report, as of 1AM, read: "The spoils were shared at the Strathclyde Homes Stadium in a dire 1-1 draw between Dumbarton and Stenhousemuir." If only, Sons fans would say! I imagine it'll be corrected in a later edition. But here's a gentle tip for subs... check the Beeb website before going to press. It was all there, er, eight hours ago.
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Never a dull moment?

The BBC's football news site is now streaming on Twitter, I see... though it has precious few 'followers' at present. Plus I doubt they will include much news from Scotland, the Old Firm apart. Ah well, there goes another few precious moments of the day. For real fanatics, there's also the 'latest score' project, and news from the Editor's Weblog that local papers are thinking of using the medium for their coverage.
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City of culcha

Ah, baffling football final ceremonies. Doncha love 'em? The organisers in Vienna tonight (no, don't get carried away, I'm only watching on TV, too) came up with a corker. Dodgy drama, dodgy art, dodgy acting and Enrique "son of Julio" Iglesias all rolled into one bulging globule of on-pitch entertainment. Awesome! When I say "dodgy", I don't mean monumental Eurovision-scale awful (it's not that hideously compelling)... just something so whimsically conceived-by-committee that it would need a lengthy commentary to make sense of it... involving, as it does, waddling puppets, floating balloons and marionette referees. "Football is focus of closing ceremony" it says here, in breathless tones. Classic. Motty, doing his last major tournament as a commentator, manfully decided to ignore the proceedings and reminisce, bless 'im. Plus he couldn't pronounce "Enrique" properly. A bit of little England was there after all. Now for the football... and the Germans are surprisingly lively at the moment.
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Withdrawal symptoms...

These mainly consist of looking obsessively at the TV guide to see when the next Euro 2008 match is, and figuring (for the sixth time in two hours) that it isn't until tomorrow night, then Thursday, then Sunday... then a big, fat nuffink for, I dunno, two weeks or more. More, given that I'll be in the USA at the end of July. How on earth will I cope? I'll just have to get a life, I guess. Actually, I have one of those. I just don't like to admit it when I'm in the company of fellow footie addicts. (On the bright side, I'm finding that every time I blink, Jim Chapman signs a new player for Dumbarton... Mainly from Partick, it seems. Thanks, Kenny. I hope.)
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Strachan's war on sweet nothings

Apparently a number of Celtic fans still don't think overly much of their manager, Gordon Strachan (pictured), even after three SPL titles in a row and two successive qualifications for the second group stage of the Champions League. Go figure. I suppose it's because he refuses to play ball with the tribal hatreds and the melodramatic highs and lows that are supposed to go with "commitment" these days. He's also seen as a bit of an Old Firm interloper from Aberdeen and Manchester United. Whatever. I think he's gold as a pundit on the BBC's Euro 2008 and elsewhere - intelligent, witty, spiky, funny, and with a refreshingly low threshold for fools and their cliches.

Asked today about the appointment of Phil Scolari to succeed Avram Grant as Chelsea boss, he was as dry and angular as possible: basically saying that if Scolari was really as much of a genius as the media was now claiming, and Grant as terrible ("I'm not saying that's my view, mind") then it will "obviously be a complete doddle" for the Blues to win a bucket load of trophies. Not for the first time, young presenter Jake Humphrey, surrounded by an aura of greenness, didn't quite know how to play that one. "Er... yes", he ventured, rapidly changing the subject.

Strachan does, I think, see poor Jack as a well-paid fish in the telly barrel when he's feeling a bit bored with the sheer predictability of punditry. Being bland and slickly vacuous just doesn't come naturally to Gordo. It makes for far better than usual pre- and post-match TV, mind. [Pic: Gordon Strachan (c) Sky]
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Some things don't change

... and one of these things, sadly, is that ITV's football coverage is spectacularly, mind-numbingly bad. No cliche or histrionic opportunity is left unexploited. The studio comment is dull and banal. The adverts ruin the flow of the moment and will, no doubt, steal the denouement, too. Clive Tyldesley witters on like some irritating pub bore. David Pleat can't even get the date of the 'George Best final' right (it was Celtic that one in '67, for goodness' sake). Even Gary Lineker's smugness is passable by comparison. Where is Alan Hansen when you need him...?
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Not quite the Final Score

I tuned into BBC 1's Final Score as usual this afternoon, and was annoyed to find that they had decided not to broadcast any Scottish League results - just the SPL. The Welsh and Blue Square Premier results had disappeared, too. Last year the Beeb tried to drop Scottish League 3 results at the beginning of the season, but restored them after complaints. Rightly so. The 'hats' who run the Corporation may be predominantly English and London-focused, but this kind of thing (and the fact that Scottish football highlights are not broadcast on terrestrial TV in Scotland on a Saturday night) is an insult to a sizeable section of the audience. The BBC is a multi-national public service institution, and its viewers in Scotland and Wales have every reason to expect a comprehensive TV results service. On this occasion they will no doubt claim that "there wasn't time", because of the live FA Cup broadcast following at 17.15. Nonsense. It would take a little over a minute to read these results, and few would complain about losing a minute of often uninspiring comment from the studio panel. What people do want, however, is full information. [Pic: Final Score chief presenter Ray Stubbs, (c) BBC]

Board senseless

One of the BBC's recent decisions - in the "less sensible" category - was to downgrade its website sport discussion boards some months ago... so that we are now confronted with the legendarily naff 606 Debate area. Or not, if we have any sense. What it achieved, I gather, was an economy that kept Jonathan Ross safe on his £16 million remuneration, as he'd have really missed that 500 odd quid they saved. Anyway, "out of sheer interest", as they say (though I realise it's no defence), I happened to click on the Add your views, reports and player profiles to the Dumbarton section of My Sport link while on the My Team page. Yup, it gets you through to a browse file proudly announcing "Page1 of 0 for Berwick scottish football" (a mathematically challenged proposition), before adding, in helpful explanatory mode: "No articles have been described using this word or combination of words." So fret not, your license fee is safe.