... the last-chance Messiah has arrived at St James' Park. Not down here in Exeter, but up in Newcastle. Well, Alan Shearer seems a level kinda guy, but I can't say he's ever struck me as having a massive amount of football nous. Then again, I wouldn't put myself in charge of an under-3s eleven. As glorious Russell Brand says this morning, regarding the Geordie Pope, "The gods of football like a good narrative." That's no guarantee of winning, mind. The G20 has just attempted to save the world in eight hours. Wor' Alan has gone for an only slightly less ambitious task in trying to salvage the Magpies in eight games, so the logic goes. Hmmnn. Given the trouble less-resourced Stoke and Hull are in, it's far from impossible. I don't think Newcastle will go down (famous last words!), but in many respects Shearer is on a no-loser. Stay up and he's a hero. Go down and he can bail or nod towards the treachery of the past (or the experienced bloke sitting next to him in the dugout). Meanwhile, the incomparable Barney Ronay is already helping out with Al's resignation note. Shemozzle, apparently. After all, "the sooner Newcastle's new manager leaves, the sooner we can start wondering when he will come back."